By: Dr. Mike Jones
\nExperts point out that every communication is really eight communications: what you mean to say, what you actually say, what the other person hears, what he thinks he hears, what he means to respond, what he actually responds, what you hear him say, and what you think you hear.<\/p>\n
Studies show that on average, people only recall about 50% of what they heard immediately after hearing it. After two days, people only recall approximately 25%.\u00a0 Too often, even when we try to be a good listener, we end up passing judgement on the person, not on the message they are conveying. We can’t wait to come back with our own thoughts, and stop listening far too soon to the other person.<\/p>\n
BARRIERS TO GOOD LISTENING
\nGood listening is more than just taking in information. It means understanding, communicating, and acknowledging other people\u2019s feelings, both good and bad. And sometimes that not easy to do.<\/p>\n
One reason that experts sat it\u2019s hard to understand, communicate, and acknowledge other people\u2019s feelings, is because WE listen a lot faster than most people can speak so our minds tend to wander instead of concentrating fully. We listen in 60 SECOND spurts – especially when it\u2019s something that interest us. (Give an example)<\/p>\n
HOW CAN WE REMOVE THE BARRIERS?
\n* Don\u2019t act like you are a mind reader or assume that other people should know\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 what you are thinking. For example, when Jane says, \u201cIt\u2019s cold in here,\u201d her\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 husband Dan may wonder: Does she want me to turn up the thermostat, put\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 another blanket on the baby, or make her a cup of tea? If Jane wanted something\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 in particular, she should have just said it. But as a good listener, it\u2019s Dan\u2019s\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 responsibility to get some clarification.<\/p>\n
* Don\u2019t let your own thoughts get in the way of what people are trying to say.\u00a0 For\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 example: I wonder what he meant by that?\u00a0 Then we start wondering what we\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 should say next and whether we should really say what is on our mind.\u00a0 By this\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 time, WE\u2019VE STOPPED LISTENING!<\/p>\n
Child psychologists agree that the lack of listening done by parents with their children helps bring about shy and timid adults, which can take years to undo. When people feel they are being listened to, their ideas are allowed to unfold and there is happiness and more freedom to express themselves. When you find a good listener, you feel as though the other person is actually in your shoes, understanding your story and relating to your message. That is why you will find yourself going to the same people over and over again, who will listen genuinely, and why you stay away from those who can’t wait to argue your thoughts or tell their stories.<\/p>\n
We could all become more effective listeners. Take some time out in the near future to listen to your children, your partner, co-workers, and even your enemies.<\/p>\n
(Adapted from Mastering The Art of Good Listening<\/em><\/span>; all Scripture references are taken from the KJV unless otherwise noted.)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" By: Dr. Mike Jones Experts point out that every communication is really eight communications: what you mean to say, what you actually say, what the other person hears, what he thinks he hears, what he means to respond, what he actually responds, what you hear him say, and what you think you hear. Studies show […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[31],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-233","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-articles-library"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.teachingministryofdrmike.org\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/233","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.teachingministryofdrmike.org\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.teachingministryofdrmike.org\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.teachingministryofdrmike.org\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.teachingministryofdrmike.org\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=233"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.teachingministryofdrmike.org\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/233\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.teachingministryofdrmike.org\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=233"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.teachingministryofdrmike.org\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=233"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.teachingministryofdrmike.org\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=233"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}